We talked about this in the restaurant and it started off a very interesting conversation between Dana and I.  At the time I thought about wanting to write it down – it revealed a lot about both of us, including confirming a few things I thought about her relationship with Tim.  Unfortunately I didn’t then write it down.  And now thinking back to it I’m struggling to remember what exactly was said.

We talked about how, in a relationship, both parties have to get about the same amount in return for what they put in.  This lead to me trying to dig around to find out what she thought she got from being with Tim.  Although she didn’t say directly (I don’t suppose that’s much of a surprise), it did re-affirm my theory that it was more his family which she got the most out of.  She’s a long way from home and her family, and having a family home she can go to at the weekends seems to be important to her, even if she doesn’t realise it.

Dana’s always hard to get information out of when it comes to talking about her feelings.  She just doesn’t want to talk about it.  While I appreciate that’s her choice, and perhaps I am being a bit nosy, sometimes it’s not so good.  There have been times she’s been upset and I’ve tried to find out why but she just wont say. That makes it very difficult for anyone else to do anything about it. Perhaps in these situations it’s because it’s something to do with Tim and she knows I don’t like him. Perhaps she thinks I wouldn’t be much help, but I’d much rather know – and I can do sensitive when needs be – because there might just be something I can do to make her feel better. You never know until you try.

So my birthday passed off relatively uneventfully. The important people remembered and, even though Phil did end up forgetting, his memory was jogged by something later on meaning he did manage to send me a message before the end of the day. I rang my parents to say thank you for the card, and although my dad didn’t realise what day it was, he’d not forgotten. It reminded him to de-flea the cat.

So now I’m 25. Next year is the last time I can renew my young person’s railcard (16-25 Railcard is the official name now, apparently). Maybe I should learn to drive before then.

The weekend drinks were supposed to be for Dana’s birthday.  We’d already kind of had birthday on her actual day, but given it was in the middle of the week and Tim was working they decided to go for a few drinks with people on the Saturday afterwards.  It took place at our usual pub in Guildford.  I went on the train while everyone else except Phil came in Tim’s car.  I met Phil at the station and we walked to the pub together.  It was the first time Phil and I had seen each other since the new year, so we talked about what we had done over Christmas and I told him about my new year’s resolution and the Press Club.  Once we arrived at the pub we got a table, and then people changed their mind about the table so we moved.  And then they changed their mind again and we changed back.  Shortly afterwards they changed their minds again and we moved for one final time.  The rest of the evening went pretty much without hitch.  I sat between Phil and his brother and oposite Dana.  I talked mainly to them because they were the people I knew most.  It did strike me as the evening went on, however, that other than me it was really just a group of Tim’s friends.  Granted Dana’s friends are either busy with babies or further away than was practical, but it was still all Tim’s friends.  In fact Dana said something in the following days about feeling she wished there were more girls there to talk to.  I suppose there wasn’t much anyone could do.  On the way back home as I was walking with Phil back to the station after the rest of them had gone off to the car park he said he sensed some tension between Tim and I.  I’m not really sure why, I thought it had gone OK and I’d pretty much managed to avoid saying too much to him.  I guess either it’s more obvious than I realised, or he just read that into it because he knows what I’ve told him before.

So that was that weekend.  The next weekend (last weekend) I got a text from Phil saying that Cecile was over from France and asking if I would like to meet up with them on Saturday and maybe go to the theatre.  Always being up for the theatre, and very happy to see Cecile again, I said I would.  Unfortunately Dana was off seeing Tim that weekend (she sees him every weekend and Cecile not very often, but still.  Cecile’s going to be back in about 3 weeks when I’m told it’s Tim’s birthday so there’ll no doubt be a collection of his friends going out for that which we’ll all go to) so it was just me.  I met them at Embankment tube just after 4, just in time to see a protest march going past along the Embankment.  I’m not sure what they were protesting about, and I didn’t have my camera so I didn’t bother investigating too much.  We walked to the discount Tkts booth in Leicester Square to see what shows were still available and decided to go with Buddy, the Buddy Holly musical.  Both Phil and I had seen the touring version a number of years ago and were happy to go again while Cecile hadn’t seen it at all.  The show went up at 7.30 so we headed to find a bar.  We went to a nice place near Covent Garden and chatted until it was time to head to the theatre.

The show wasn’t quite what I remember (or the touring version has more story telling).  I still enjoyed it, and I think I’d go again if someone else wanted to.  It’s supposed to tell the story of Buddy Holly’s life, but the story telling is a little thin on the ground.  The first half takes you from an appearance on the radio of The Crickets as a country band through them recording their hit singles, Buddy’s marriage, the band’s break up and on to the final tour.  The second half turns the audience in the theatre into the audience at Holly’s last concert in Clear Lake with The Big Bopper and Richie Valens in 1959.  It’s more like seeing a tribute band than a musical.  Buddy’s death is treated handled very poignantly if briefly and it seemed to genuinely take some people by surprise (“shit” said one lady behind us with honest surprise when the VO said what had happened).  The thing closes with a big reprise of Oh Boy.  It does make you leave with a smile on your face.

Sitting next to me were a couple of foreign girls and sitting next to Phil were another couple of girls one of which caught my eye a few times during the show.  I’m sure she was looking at me, and she wasn’t unattractive either.  I thought maybe I might be able to find out if she really was interested during the interval, but she seemed to be buried in her programme with her friend so I summised she wasn’t.  On the way out she was standing in front of the theatre waiting for her friend when we came out, and again she caught my eye.  So I don’t know what she thought — perhaps she was as shy as me and that’s why she hid during the interval — but I am liking the attention my new look seems to be attracting.  Just got to keep it up and I think I’ll be well on track to managing my new year’s resolution!

My birthday (yesterday!) went alright, but it wasn’t anything special on the day because I was in college. My parents are giving me a CD-RW/DVD player (or rather the money for one, and I have ordered it, lol), and a the Best of David Bowie CD (he is alright – I like some of his music, but not all of it…and so the Best Of compilation is a good CD because it only has the good things on it!). My Grandma gave me £100 which I have put away in the bank and will probably end up spending on Christmas (depends on if work get back to me or not – they still haven’t. He said that he would start me today or at the weekend, and I was hoping he would have rung yesterday to say today, but he didn’t (I get to see Natalie instead which is nice), so I guess it will be the weekend. I want to start soon because, although I can say I have a job, it doesn’t do any good if I don’t do any actual work because I don’t get payed for doing nothing!).  Natalie’s parents got me a nice jacket which I will wear in summer I think, and Natalie got me an orange and yellow lava lamp (which is perfect for my room, and has taken up residence on my computer on top of a book wrapped in silver foil to stop the heat from passing to the computer, lol) and a cuddly little Fimble…I love it to bits! Its really sweet and cuddly, and reminds me of her…I just huggle it and it reminds me of her. I’m going to take it with me when I go to uni and cuddle it every night when I can’t be with her.

I’m a bit worried about physics. Last year I didn’t do wonderfully well in two modules, and I am re-sitting those along with the new ones from this year. In January I have one of the last year ones, and Im happy with that because of my personal tutoring (he is great, and I understand things now!), but the unit 4 (further physics) is hard. It’s all theoretical and formula(ic). I know that’s an area I struggle with and it is all that…I’m going to have to really get down to it now, and do some work on it – from now on I am actually going to concentrate on it, because I need to do well! Politics is going fine, and we have picked up the pace with it, and I’m understanding it all, even though I am going through it at break-neck speed, and computing is fine, just need to get the practical project done there, lol.

And that’s about all. I think I have said all I have to say…I want to be able to talk about all my friend’s relationships…but I can’t, they don’t have any still – I’m still the only one attached, and talking about the capers with Emma and Mike are getting boring now (its all the same, she says she will see us with him, doesn’t turn up, find out he doesn’t know about a thing about it all, and that’s all). I want things to happen so that I can watch and talk about it all….no fair hehe.

So whats been up, not much to be honest – I have been seeing Natalie a lot, I stayed over at her house on Wednesday because it was her dad’s birthday and her parents wanted me to(!!), and I stayed last night too because her parents went out for a meal for her dad’s birthday, and we looked after her brother (who is 12, but its a good excuse to stay over there, lol).  We watched ‘Meet the Parents’ which was quite amusing…we were going to watch ‘What Women Want’ but it was on at 8 and we weren’t really wanting to snuggle down by then, so we waited until 9 (this was on Sky Premier).  Today we didn’t do anything really — stayed in bed until late, then we were going to go for a walk but it rained and then when we were going to wander to the shop (just for some sweets and to get out), her mum panics because her brother wasn’t back from swimming 7 hours after they went (he just spent the day out in the end, then went to his friend’s house after, but she was worried).

I don’t know if I wrote last weekend, I don’t think I did, so:  Natalie and I went to York on Saturday just for a day out, which was really nice, we picked the day with the nice weather.  Went on the tour bus, and wandered about.  We were going to go into the castle museum, but by the time we went it had a big queue and it was quite late, and she wanted to take me down into the dungeons, but I wasn’t going anywhere near them (yes, I’m pathetic, but I don’t like that kind of thing!).  On the Sunday we went to Medowhall to get her dad a present, and we bought him an electricity ball (you know, the kind that the electricity comes to your fingers when you touch it), he really liked it.

She is coming here tomorrow so that she can avoid having to make lunch for her dad and brother and his friend (she was dropping hints in a conversation she was having about being invited out so she might not be able to, lol).

Exam results come out on Thursday, not looking forward to that in the slightest…not one bit.  I think the computing will be good, sociology I think I might have bluffed my way though, physics I have no clue, and Maths I am sure I have done terribly in, really sure I have done badly.  Only have to wait until Thursday at 12 to find out…if I don’t just stay in bed that day, and the next, and the next…hehe.

That’s about it I think.  I’ll write again if anything happens, or I remember something else…well, actually there is something else, but I don’t know how to write it, I will do…but I will update more often, lol!