I know you can’t control it like that, but at what age would you feel happy knowing they were spending so much time with a boy in that way? When I have children I want girls and I started wondering while on the bus (rail replacement service in fact) when I saw a young couple where the girl couldn’t have been any more than about 15.  I think when it comes down to it it’s the person who they are seeing which matters more than anything, but that aside, I can’t say I’d be really happy until older than that.

Maybe that sounds like I’m being too protective, and I’m pretty sure it’ll never happen that way, but ideally I want her to really know herself before committing to someone in that way (when I say commit I don’t mean just in the sense of forever, but when you’re that age you think you’re going to anyway, don’t you?). I think this has also been prompted a little by my trip back to Lancaster — especially going out to the student union’s nightclub (more about that later) — this weekend. The girls there aren’t really that much younger than me and 5 years really wouldn’t be a problem for me if I was dating someone, but I think if I were their father, I’d only just be able to cope even at 18.

Maybe this all actually boils down to the thing most fathers struggle with — I’d never want to let my little girl go.

Hmm, so this last week the days have been broken between sleeping, being on my computer here, and being with Natalie.  I think the two main ones there are Natalie and sleep…and a bit of sleeping with Natalie, lol.  Actually, I only stayed at her house last weekend and this weekend, no other time, which is a little surprising for us.  I think its been probably because of the hours she has been working – they have been all over the place, and I havn’t known when she was and wasn’t – and also because we have been trying to get used to not being able to be with each other all the time, like we have over the holidays.  Its going to be really strange to go back to college in those terms – I miss her when I’m not with her for a day or two, and when we go back we wont be able to see each other for ages at a time, then not for long when we do get to be together – I don’t honestly know how we will manage, for a while at least.  Have to I suppose.  I just don’t want to think about if we end up going to Unis over the other end of the country from each other (I suppose if we are together then, but I hope, oh, I do hope).

On one of our walks the other day we were talking, and Natalie mentioned children.  That was odd, because just on the way there I had been thinking about them myself…not about having them now (hmm, no, lol), but about the future.  The thing is that we are both sworn children dis-likers (would say haters, but that’s a bit strong, lol).  I mean, we would both run a mile if they came near, and both find them irritating, but when she said that…and I thought it, it is different.  I know I havn’t said what she said, I don’t really remember, but she said that she wants them with me later on in life.  I was thinking that too.  Its strange, but I just have this feeling that I want to, a long time in the future, but that they wouldn’t be that bad, and that I would like them with her…hmmm, its strange.  I don’t know, but its odd.

That didn’t make much sense, I know, and its right off track, but I wanted to put that.

Natalie is working until 4 tomorrow, then she is coming here for the rest of the evening, which will be nice, then some point in the week we need to go off and get our party in the park tickets.  We went last year, and it looks like it is going to be good this year.  Its next weekend, and we are going to make a full weekend of it – I am going with her parents to the thing on the Saturday night where there are old bands on (I think there is an Abba tribute and Beatles tribute on, as well as some real ‘old’ rockers, lol), and then a big fireworks display, which should be good fun!  So that’s next weekend, and this week I have to get some college work done.  I will do some tomorrow before Natalie comes round, and some a little later in the week.  Can’t wait, lol.

And now I think I should go to bed, I need to at least try to get back into some sort of normal sleeping pattern before college starts again, lol.