Preston, Lancashire. Home of the University of Central Lancashire. They beat Lancaster University in the sports competition they have each year – Lancaster’s “Warmup to Roses”. So that’s it – Lancaster’s fate at Roses is sealed I guess. And that’s the next time I’ll see the group of people I came up here to see. Roses, York, summer. [read more]
Oh dear. I think I have a motivational problem…I’m never in the mood to write in this at times when I actually can write in this. I have actually thought about it, and wanted to do it quite a few times since I last actually did, but they have all been times when I have not been able to, then when I get back to my computer and actually can do it, I don’t feel in the mood. Its not good. Anyway, I’m here now, and I’m not going to make any more excuses! I don’t even actually remember when I last did write here, but I will try to not miss anything out I haven’t written about before! [read more]
So she’s gone – she went yesterday.
I stayed over at Natalie’s house on Monday night. I met her at 11.30 (she said 11, I said 11.30 so that I would remember I had to set off at 11 – in the past we have said times like that to meet, and next day I have thought I remembered that I had to set off at 11…so get there late!) and she had a few things to do (some shopping for her mum and something else I can’t remember now), so we did them, and set off back to her house. On the way back we were talking about how this was the last time she would be coming that way for a while…it felt weird because its the last time I would be going that way for a long time as well…I held her hand (I always do…but this time) it felt different – more special in some ways. We got back to her house and hugged a bit…and then she remembered she had forgotten that she needed more passport size photos while we were in Halifax. So we had to go out again. About an hour after we got back, we went out again. Back in Halifax we got some more food and then she went for her photo at the booth in the bus station. Those things never make you look good (when I had my picture taken for university I scanned it in and edited it a bit, then got my mother to print it onto photo paper at work so I didn’t look tooo bad…), but she didn’t look too bad in the end (I don’t think, but I couldn’t make her believe that). And after that we headed back to her house again…back along the way we thought we wouldn’t be going for a long time…this time we wouldn’t. [read more]
Well there goes another entry (heh, it seems to be calming to write this from college after exams, lol). I should be in general studies now, but I’m not going to go – my excuse is that I’m stressed about the exam I just had (or something…). That’s one thing that is odd – we don’t have exams leave as such. They decided that they would carry on running lessons up to the exams, but we get the day before any exam off so we could revise. I think generally people are taking that as being ‘it doesn’t matter if you don’t go to lessons, no one will complain’.
Anyway, enough with talk of exams (that was the last entry!). Its spring bank holiday next week, hurrah. It will give me chance to have at least some kind of rest, even if I have promised to go into Age Concern at some point over the holidays (rather was nagged into it by my mother, lol). [read more]
Oh dear, I think I have done it again – its just gone 2am, and I am still doing college work :-\ Actually I am writing an email to the person at my mum’s work who is in charge of the silver surfers project (to get old people to use computers), about my computing project – I’m making them a program to replace the paper system for tracking the punters, lol. I always end up working late on things like this!
Anyway, tomorrow I am going to seen Natalie (yey). I miss her in the week…I mean, this week has been better than normal because we had Tuesday, and last week we had Wednesday, but normally its awful, I miss her so much when we aren’t together. Hmm, last night we argued again…and it was about the same sort of thing as before. I know why she feels the way she does, and thinks the things she does, but it hurts that she feels that she can’t trust me. I’m trying my best to do everything I know to do to make it so that she trusts me the way I trust her, but it just feels like its not working…I think, deep down, that is must be, mustn’t it? I mean, it must make some difference somewhere, even if I can’t see it now. Yes, it hurts that I feel that she just wont believe me whatever I say, no matter what I say, when I know I have never lied to her, and I never will do. It hurts that whatever I do it feels she is always looking for me to do something that might indicate that I’m not telling her the truth in some way…but I know why, and I don’t blame her for it…but it still hurts, you know? God knows, I’ve cried about it for the last few nights, and I can’t help it. The thing is – I love her, I really love her, and I can’t fight the feelings that I get when I’m with her, and I can’t pretend that I don’t feel the way I do when I talk to her, because its there, and its not going away. I love her, and I’d do anything for her, and I want to help all that I can…I’ll wait if she wants, I’ll be there when she wants, anything at all, because there is no point in trying, and I don’t want to try, to do anything but that when I feel the way I do. We talked tonight, for a while, on the phone (initially about this) and it felt so good to talk to her…I said this to her tonight – when I told her that I’d be there for her forever, I meant it, and I still mean it, I’ll mean it no matter what, because I love her. [read more]
Ooohh, I know its beeen tooooo long, but I have had loads to do, and I haven’t had chance!
Well, today was a good day – I got payed lots of money for two jobs that I have done. That is always useful with Christmas looming round the corner, and my parent’s birthdays to come first as well…about the only thing I have to make up for that is my own birthday is before all those, hehe. Sooo, yes, I have two cheques to put into the bank tomorrow (and then I have to wait to be ripped off for about a week while they hold onto the money I should have in their own hands, blah). [read more]
I know it’s been a while since last update, but there isn’t much to say really.
I’m getting on with college, and I have declined a couple of my grades so I have to sit them again – in Physics I am taking the Waves and Nuclear Physics module in January again, after teaching from my nice tutor at home, and Maths I don’t know when I am taking things, but I will be doing, still to work that out. Talking of my Physics tutor, I am really getting on better in it now with him doing it, he is really, really good, a lot of the things I never really understood with the other tutors I understand with him…which can only be good, lol. [read more]
Yey, well, I havn’t written for ages again, and, again, that’s because I havn’t done anything!
Hmm, so this last week the days have been broken between sleeping, being on my computer here, and being with Natalie. I think the two main ones there are Natalie and sleep…and a bit of sleeping with Natalie, lol. Actually, I only stayed at her house last weekend and this weekend, no other time, which is a little surprising for us. I think its been probably because of the hours she has been working – they have been all over the place, and I havn’t known when she was and wasn’t – and also because we have been trying to get used to not being able to be with each other all the time, like we have over the holidays. Its going to be really strange to go back to college in those terms – I miss her when I’m not with her for a day or two, and when we go back we wont be able to see each other for ages at a time, then not for long when we do get to be together – I don’t honestly know how we will manage, for a while at least. Have to I suppose. I just don’t want to think about if we end up going to Unis over the other end of the country from each other (I suppose if we are together then, but I hope, oh, I do hope). [read more]
Well, I stole this from Amber without her permission, and ruthlessly changed certain words 😉
With all this doing nothing, I haven’t been here to update! Well, here we go, not all that interesting, but worth a quickie…
So whats been up, not much to be honest – I have been seeing Natalie a lot, I stayed over at her house on Wednesday because it was her dad’s birthday and her parents wanted me to(!!), and I stayed last night too because her parents went out for a meal for her dad’s birthday, and we looked after her brother (who is 12, but its a good excuse to stay over there, lol). We watched ‘Meet the Parents’ which was quite amusing…we were going to watch ‘What Women Want’ but it was on at 8 and we weren’t really wanting to snuggle down by then, so we waited until 9 (this was on Sky Premier). Today we didn’t do anything really — stayed in bed until late, then we were going to go for a walk but it rained and then when we were going to wander to the shop (just for some sweets and to get out), her mum panics because her brother wasn’t back from swimming 7 hours after they went (he just spent the day out in the end, then went to his friend’s house after, but she was worried). [read more]